2009.07.31
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says:
" Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably don't remember, but you were in a multi-car pileup on the freeway. You're going to be okay; you'll be able to walk again, but... something happened. I'm trying to break this to you gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the crash and they were unable to find it."
The man groaned, but the doctor continued:
"You've got $9,000.00 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did -- better in fact! But it doesn't come cheap. It's $1,000. per inch.
The man perks up at hearing this. "So," the doctor says, "it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five-incher before and decide to go for 9 inches, she might be a little put out. But if you had a nine-incher before and you decide to only invest in a five-incher this time,she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."
The man agrees to talk to his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day. "So", asked the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?"
"I have," said the man.
"And what's the decision," asked the doctor?
"We're getting granite countertops."